Unencumbered. I think that's the real word for this year. Freedom sounds more romantic, but what I'm really feeling is a great desire to get untangled and unburdened and unhindered. To flap my arms around and kick my legs and twirl and gyrate and fling, flail, and fightfightfight. I want to throw punches and fist pumps and jazz hands. I want to give 2013 a big ol' roundhouse kick to the face (and then buy it a beer after). Yes. Unencumbered.
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Today, I unencumbered the floor around my desk, which over the past three months has become Ground Central for all the parties and projects I've been doing. I haven't even been able to sit in my desk chair for three weeks.Tonight, I will unencumber my actual desk, plowing through piles of papers and random stuff thrown into a plastic shoebox to "deal with later".
I think a key part of the Year of Unencumbering is "deal with now". In the heat of parties and projects its fine to set things to the side, but I don't want a "deal with later" bin that never gets dealt with. (I have in this bin a couple Christmas presents from 2009.) (Ahem.) Tucked into various corners of the house and garage, I've got bins and boxes and bags filled to the brim with "deal with later" stuff. Now is the time to deal!
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The other unencumbering thing I did today was to officially clear our Saturdays from 1/12-2/2. Amen and Hallelujah! And amen again. This is not easy. As soon as I did this, I got an email invite to a birthday party on 1/12. One that I would love to go to. And I know there will be more super fun invites to hang out with people I love.
But - my husband and I are introverts. Introverts who need big stretches of no people. Big stretches of time to read and think and ponder and write it all out. We are also introverts who both own snowshoes and are surrounded by quiet, snowy hills. And while we still live in this house we are introverts who have a fireplace and were gifted with fancy chocolates and wine this Christmas. We've been partying since October. We need a month of Saturdays to regroup.
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I've begun my annual examen. How are things with me? Pretty good. Not great. I'm healing in leaps and bounds, but still limping. Frustrated. Weak. In pain. I am not moving freely forward like I want to. But this unencumbered business already feels better. It feels less like a new thing I "should/ought/have to" do, and instead feels like getting rid of things - sometimes literally. (We already have a big pile to take to Goodwill.)
I'm very much looking forward to the light and space and movement ahead.
May it be so.