The doves coo, soft while I trim the rosemary, my favorite herb. Its fragrance surrounds me, blending with the birds calls, enveloping me in peace. I need peace.
This last month has been a painful one, both physically and emotionally. New injuries from old issues. Ancient pain and fear flared up from the deep alongside a bum knee and chronic pain in my hands. I've spent most of the last few weeks flat on my back icing and ibuprofening.
And wrestling with fear, pain, loss, anger, grief, despair... scrambling for threads of hope to cling to. Begging for peace.
I've had some. Moments. And they've been golden ones. Once, on the front porch, in the setting sun, listening to my Sweetie read me fun stories. The blue sky, the green grass and trees, the warm sun... a million blessed spring and summer days captured in that moment.
Later that night, I lay with my leg flopped over MM, sleepy from a day in the sun. I felt the same blissful content I used to get after a day at the pool, or the lake. It's been a long time since I've felt that. It was good.
And today, among the dove calls and rosemary fragrance. The scent still clings to me, and even from my office desk I can hear the cooing of the doves. Little reminders that there is life and goodness beyond this present pain.
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...we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. ~ Rm 5:3-4