I have written so many posts this week. Random, silly ones to tell you that our comfortor covered in tiny flowers makes me feel like I live in Kathleen Kelly's apartment. Or that, though, our plan for now is to not have kids, if we do, and they are boys, MM wants to name them Beowolf and Zebedee, and refer to them as the Sons of Dawn. "That's so, freakin' metal!" :)
Serious ones, where I talk more about what's been going inside me as MM and I figure out how to do Christmas as a family. (I love decorating the tree; he doesn't - how do we figure out how to honor us both, as well as the things we're thinking about in terms of making the season meaningful and thoughtful.) And, how do we balance a calendar when we have two families and an army of friends that we love and only so many evenings in December that we can give away. And the complexities of setting boundaries and maintaining healthy relationships when this season often brings up the dark and painful parts of community.
Philosophical ones, about this week's theme of Hope. We've just finished our annual viewing of the Lord of the Rings, which is filled with the admonition to hope, in the movies, "There is always, Hope." "There's good in this world, and its worth fighting for!" "Some things are certain." And the books,
"There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach."
One's about how we're finding hope in the music of Flyleaf:
"... Sing to me about the end of the world
End of these hammers and needles for you
Hold on to the world we all remember fighting for
There's some strength left in us yet
Hold on to the world we all remember dying for
There's some hope left in it yet...
We'll cry tonight, but in the morning we are new
Stand in the sun, we'll dry your eyes...
Arise and be
All that you dreamed, all that you dreamed...
And in our advent readings:
"More than that, we rejoice in our suffering, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame..." ~ Romans 5:3-5
"I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living!
Wait for (hope in) the LORD;
and let your heart take courage;
Wait for (hope in) the LORD!" ~ Psalm 27
BUT - I didn't finish any of those posts. Instead I practiced baking Christmas treats and visited with good friends and prayed and held my husband tight and made memories and lit candles, thankful for hope.