A few weeks ago the light changed. Early, it seemed to me. And while I normally welcome my favorite season with open arms and John Denver "carols," this year, not so much.
I've not yet had my fill of bbqs and sprinklers and ice cream off a truck. And yet, without so much as a "by your leave," the light changes, the agapanthes wither, and the crepe myrtles fade. We ride our bikes through early fallen leaves and watch more flutter to the street. And though the days still get hot, more and more the cool mornings and evenings bring to mind sweaters and school supplies.
Many people dislike Autumn, associating it with death and dying. The arrival of cold, grey weather, and having to run errands in the rain. I've never felt that way. To me, Autumn meant harvest and abundance. A season to pick apples, bake cookies, carve pumpkins, and pop up giant bowls of popcorn for movie nights and game nights and cozy-up-with-a-good-book nights. The glorious colors (amber, crimson, goldenrod) and flavors (cinnamon, caramel, rosemary, sage) of fall always fill me with an appreciation of Life.
But this year, I can understand a little why some folks don't care for the season. My heart isn't quite ready to let go of summer. And yet it must. The light has changed, and the next season of life is upon me, whether I am ready for it or not.
This is true for me in lots of ways. In this past year I got married, left my career, turned 40, and became a bicycle commuter (sold my car). Oy! Holy season changes, Batman. Things are shifting for me emotionally, spiritually, relationally - pretty much in all the "allys".
Its all good. I'm just in the midst of the transition and everything is awkward and unfinished. My heart's feeling a bit pummeled and tired and not at rested up to tackle a new "school year." It needs a few more months of floating around the swimming pool, listening to 80's rock.
But I can't. It's time to buy my Trapper Keeper and protractor and new shoes. It's time for class schedules and syllabi. I can listen to 80's rock, but only while I'm doing my homework.
So. This weekend I will raise a glass to summer, and embrace the changing season.