11/30/2010

reassembly required

Ahhh. Even one day of quiet does wonders to reassemble my soul. All my scrambled thoughts and feelings begin to unscramble themselves and start to make sense. Clarity. Peace.

I try not to feel guilty about needing this - pace and time to sort myself out after big (or little) events. It makes me feel weak. And there is so much to do, of course, that it feels wicked and lazy to take time to stare out the window. I fight a barrage of: "I should __________ (update a website, file paperwork, reply to emails, return phone calls, do the dishes, do the laundry, ...etc, etc.)"

But sit I do, and submit to the reassembly process. And wait.

Today's reassembly process features candles, fancy bread, spiced apple cider, knitting, and a podcast or two.

4 comments:

  1. Duker4:51 PM

    I wonder why you think you should be running your batteries 24/7. If you were a tech device, toy, etc... ( anything that takes a battery, you wouldn't mistreat IT by running 24/7 ) WHY...... do you think you should do that to yourself, you who are more precious than any of the above mentioned items. Remember that the website, paperwork, emails calls and dishes will all be there when you are recharged and ready to go...
    Love yourself as others do. I know I sure do.

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  2. :) Thanks Duker.

    Oh, I know rest is good for me, so I make time for it. I think the part that gets tough is that lots of other people *don't* need as much recharge/processing time, so they are able to bounce right back into life while I'm still needing to stare at the wall.

    Over the years I've learned that I have my unique pace, and that I need big chunks of alone time to recharge and process. And that's how I am made, and it is good.

    But I still get that little voice pointing at the piles and lists and other people, and arching an eyebrow: "Get on it, girl. Nobody else needs four days to recover. Let's go!"

    Next time she comes up, I will tell her what you said. :)

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  3. I need reassembly too. Never thought of it quite this way before. Thank you for putting this into words. It's like now I have "permission" to "indulge" in the quiet. It's quite okay to turn off the phone. Thanks.

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  4. And I think we live in such a gogogo! culture that its hard to choose a different path. People look at us like we are weird or slacking or somehow wrong to make time for this rest. In choosing to rest, we are seriously going against the flow. My kind of revolution!

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