Last night MM and I canceled our normal Wednesday night plans (host a couple folks for dinner and then go to house church) and just rested. We rubbed each others sore shoulders and watched some episodes from season one of Flight of the Conchords. It was good to laugh and rest together. We needed it!
We are tired. The intensity of the last month or so has left us feeling a bit pummeled. On top of our regular life stuff (jobs/job search, social connections, events, housekeeping, etc.) we are going through the wonderful, laborious, joyful, scary, delightful, exciting, and sometimes painful work of knitting our souls together. This relationship is a gift. An absolute blessing of goodness. And we want to do it right.
We are both intense people. Leaders. Planners. Action takers. We plunge into things head first and work mightily. And this is no different. Instead of one pre-engagement book, we have three! And it is not uncommon for us to spend an hour or more on just one question.
This month's chapters and questions were about money, and one of our exercises was to not just talk about spending, but actually create a budget. This is a great exercise, because it allows us to see how we are spending our money and how that reflects the condition of our hearts. "Where your treasure is, there your heart is also." Our current spending habits and our proposed budget categories paint a picture of our values, priorities, and dreams. And a sound budget is a game plan for making dreams a reality.
So we've been talking and dreaming and planning and creating spreadsheets and idea lists. With all the question answering and bonding and dreaming and planning and strategizing, its easy to get stressed out and turn our days and weeks into task lists. But while that is an excellent way to manage projects with deadlines and project plans and such, we don't want this to be a "project."
This is a Love Story.
We need this to be about joy and delight and adventure and surprises and fun and romance. Somehow while dreaming about the future, and strategizing about how to get from here to there, we need to live fully and abundantly in the present. We need time to just sit and stare at each other and touch each others faces. We need time to drive around listening to music and sharing stories from our childhoods. We need to hold hands over a cafe table and grin at each other. We need to play and do things that nurture our souls and fill them up. We need to laugh and create and breathe deeply of Goodness.
Yes, it is good to work. It is good to plan. And it is very, very good to dream! But it is also good to simply give thanks and eat our daily bread. We are alive and together and in love - today. We are in this moment. We need to hear, see, taste, smell, touch, and feel the goodness of this moment.
So, we created some space in our schedules. Empty time. To rest and play and just be. To loaf. To drink in these days of love. To eat simple, daily bread and give thanks.